Last night I tossed and turned in my bed. No i wasnt sleeping in the wrong direction and neither did the bed seem all that undulated like I usually feel. The dogs outside were barking furiously. They seemed to add an insane quality to the voices in my half asleep brain. I heard chanting and I saw bloodless faces looming large above me and I couldnt take it anymore. I had to get up and get myself a glass of water. Let me reassure that im not getting started on some kind of crazy horror story!But I did feel wierd enough to think whateever I was feeling was probably worth a blog. Hell! Anythings worth a blog. People even blog about their shitting habbits dont they? Not that I have come accross one, but I can safely assume they do.
Got a mail from my friend asking us to watch a few movies. One of them being Eyes wide shut. Thats what started it. I went and got Roman Holiday and Eyes Wide shut. Its been a while since I watched Tom Cruise smile. I was in for a surprise though.He didnt smile.I didnt have a clue as to what the movie was about except that there are some explicit scenes in the movie. It turned out that the hot scenes werent the kind I had expected.Nakedness seemed to be a critical part of the movie but there wasnt any tender love making or similar pleasantries.It was layered with the complications of a mans psyche when he finds out that his wife is not who he thought she was after nine years of marriage. One night under the influence of marijuana she destroys his notions about his wifes sexuality and the extent she is willing to go to satisfy her deep desires.Whether this is done to incite his jealousy or to just let him take a peep into her mind is left to you.He cannot comprehend the lack of logic behind it and how her desires are separated from the love she has for him. From then in a span of two days his life tumbles down around him, the rock solid ground that he walks on seems to quake at every step he takes. He enters into territories he never knew existed and is shocked to discover that life can take extremely sinister turns and it seems so unreal that when you come back home, you dont know where you have been and if it was just a bad nightmare.
Tom Cruise has done a great job as usual and as for her- She seems to present a very vague picture, under the influence of dope and booze whenever she was present in the movie or in a world of her own.
The whole movie has got dark undercurrents with dialogues that are made slow and repititive to keep you waiting. I appreciated it while I was watching and I was quite matter of fact when explaining to my rommies that these sort of things happen and even in india you have cult practices where sex is the mode of worshipping.Like I know anything!! We all concluded that it was different and worth a watch inspite of the fact that all the women seem to be clones of each other with the same kind of uhm.... bodies... shall we say... to put it decently! (Im not sure if my bloggers license allows me the use of quite specific terms such as asses and boobs!). We washed off our face packs (We did make some good use of the time we were were watching the movie) and went to bed.It was only then that my mind started whirling with wierd, almost violent thoughts and I had earlier felt so unaffected by the movie that I didnt relate them at all! Here are some of the wierdest of them: (Please note that I was half asleep too)
*I imagined myself being harrased by a guy in a mask. It didnt register at the time that he was wearing one.It was as if he wasnt and I knew who he was.. in real life I mean. I got wild and went to his house and threatened to kill him and I tore his sofa with the butcher knife I had in my hand!
*I imagined a little girl playing with a turtle that had the nazi symbol over it. HUH???
*I imagined that I was imagining all these things and that I was trying to construct a plan to not imagine them!
*I was swearing in my head
*I imagined an IAS officer taking room in a village tea shop and complaining that the tv had too many channels. Well that came from the book i was reading earlier.
*I imagined the house maid coming in the nite and robbing all the photos in the house!
Maybe the word imagine should be replaced by the word "dreamt". Whatever, in between all this, I heard a door banging and dogs barking like there was a dog riot and the trickling sound of water. And I just couldnt catch a wink of sleep for almost an hour.Looks like the movie did affect me after all. :-) No kidding!
Ah well! Il just go home and watch Roman Holiday - Audrey Hepburn with her fresh looks and saucy dialogues. Nothing like a princess in love to bring back the sunshine into ur day!!
Monday, May 22, 2006
Saturday, May 06, 2006
MOVE ON! –The two words that have been hammering in my head for the past few months - Move On Move On... like an endless chant being uttered by all whom I know including my own confused mind. Monday morning I’m in office with a cup of tea trying to wash down my lethargy and drowsiness pepedapadaing! pepedapadaing! goes the irritating ring tone that I have kept for my phone. Ok I confess I never even bothered to keep a ringtone for my phone. It’s still the default one but I will not try to explain these insignificant details to those who are wrinkling their noses right now. Coming back to the call, It was my old “best friend” whom I had known since I don’t even remember when, calling to announce that shed just gotten engaged and her marriage is fixed for a date 6 months away. I was stunned. She had done what the tea couldn’t have done, made me sit upright on my purple seat. What???? “No u can’t get married!! Not so fast… were all still kids, don’t u realize, we just look grown up!!" is what I wanted to scream but I exclaimed and made the proper noises and congratulated her and asked about her fiancé. I didn’t want to know… not yet, in fact I slightly resented the guy, not that we’ve been such great friends, the kind who write long letters and call up every half day to talk about their latest sorrow, but I still lived in a dimension where the past was very much alive and cherished and she was a part of that. Now she was gonna step into something bigger and less frivolous, leaving me where I was. She was moving on… and that’s what bewildered me, she was ready and so are many whom I know.
Its been a day since my roomie of 6 yrs left the country. Now there’s no looking back for her.. and us. The house is gonna be a mess without her typically virgo-ian (is that what its called?) efforts and our lives more empty without her jokes n her care. We saw her off at the airport yesterday and the only reason we didn’t make a scene there was cos the manager in charge of checking in the luggage was already make quite a big one and charging enormous rates for the excess baggage she was carrying. We definitely didn’t see the point in what he was saying cos “Wat will a girl do without her clothes n shoes and teddies!” “What do these men know!” But we had to bow down slightly to the rules which meant coming back with a carton of her stuff. She walked away with her 8 kilos of baggage n before we knew it she was too far away for us to see. Coming back in the auto we all had long faces that stretched to the dirty auto floor. Here and there a teardrop fell and I thought Im going to feel this heavy for a long time to come. But it took us just a few minutes before we were all laughing at some seemingly hilarious joke. Something written on the CCD cup that I was holding. Something that went like “Beware! The contents of this cup can be really hot!”
Funny? Who knows? We needed that laugh though and that’s when it struck me that of course life’s going to go on. No matter what happens. It has to. A law of nature. Change is as essential as the rising sun and we got to scurry along with its pace especially the people left behind. She has taken the step in her direction and soon we have to take ours. It might seem scary. What if the next step we take is going to be into thin air and lead us over the cliff! Just a matter of faith that there is some solid ground beneath us and a matter of spirit that we get up and walk in case we do fall.
24 came like a bang in my head. I never did think Id end up being 24 and now I’m already 2 months past. I never did think a lot of things about my life. That I would have friends who just disappeared one day, married and happy too! Friends who would stop talking to you and friends who lied. I never thought Id love my parents so much after all the hate in between. And I never ever thought of myself as a person who would go through a breakup. I thought I would be great at a relationship, full of honey and sweet understanding looks. I didn’t think that at 24 my file would have only a degree certificate and im still only qualified as the girl next door. Suddenly I feel like I’m running out of time. Too many things to establish and I have hardly started. Feel like too many laps for me to cover. Where did the years go? I dread to think of being 35 and thinking the same thing. I want to dread it. Maybe the fear will push me on. Bring back some competition into my blood and sweep the Bangalore laid back attitude back under the rug. Y blame Bangalore? Its just a place. Don’t do that!!!
Yes I feel the hurry and now when I look back on it (well its only been a week and Im already looking back.. see what I mean!), Im already dreaming about what could be in store for me and quite thrilled for my friends, the ones who seem to have found happiness and the ones who seem to be doing something about it in their search for it. Go girls! I’m coming too!
Its been a day since my roomie of 6 yrs left the country. Now there’s no looking back for her.. and us. The house is gonna be a mess without her typically virgo-ian (is that what its called?) efforts and our lives more empty without her jokes n her care. We saw her off at the airport yesterday and the only reason we didn’t make a scene there was cos the manager in charge of checking in the luggage was already make quite a big one and charging enormous rates for the excess baggage she was carrying. We definitely didn’t see the point in what he was saying cos “Wat will a girl do without her clothes n shoes and teddies!” “What do these men know!” But we had to bow down slightly to the rules which meant coming back with a carton of her stuff. She walked away with her 8 kilos of baggage n before we knew it she was too far away for us to see. Coming back in the auto we all had long faces that stretched to the dirty auto floor. Here and there a teardrop fell and I thought Im going to feel this heavy for a long time to come. But it took us just a few minutes before we were all laughing at some seemingly hilarious joke. Something written on the CCD cup that I was holding. Something that went like “Beware! The contents of this cup can be really hot!”
Funny? Who knows? We needed that laugh though and that’s when it struck me that of course life’s going to go on. No matter what happens. It has to. A law of nature. Change is as essential as the rising sun and we got to scurry along with its pace especially the people left behind. She has taken the step in her direction and soon we have to take ours. It might seem scary. What if the next step we take is going to be into thin air and lead us over the cliff! Just a matter of faith that there is some solid ground beneath us and a matter of spirit that we get up and walk in case we do fall.
24 came like a bang in my head. I never did think Id end up being 24 and now I’m already 2 months past. I never did think a lot of things about my life. That I would have friends who just disappeared one day, married and happy too! Friends who would stop talking to you and friends who lied. I never thought Id love my parents so much after all the hate in between. And I never ever thought of myself as a person who would go through a breakup. I thought I would be great at a relationship, full of honey and sweet understanding looks. I didn’t think that at 24 my file would have only a degree certificate and im still only qualified as the girl next door. Suddenly I feel like I’m running out of time. Too many things to establish and I have hardly started. Feel like too many laps for me to cover. Where did the years go? I dread to think of being 35 and thinking the same thing. I want to dread it. Maybe the fear will push me on. Bring back some competition into my blood and sweep the Bangalore laid back attitude back under the rug. Y blame Bangalore? Its just a place. Don’t do that!!!
Yes I feel the hurry and now when I look back on it (well its only been a week and Im already looking back.. see what I mean!), Im already dreaming about what could be in store for me and quite thrilled for my friends, the ones who seem to have found happiness and the ones who seem to be doing something about it in their search for it. Go girls! I’m coming too!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)